Five cents tax on a thousand bucks

At Apple we are the very best
Techno-wise we can’t be beat
We’re cooler than all the rest
Unlike Samsung we don’t cheat..
Iphones, mac-airs and much more
Our products will blow your mind
Buy goods from the Apple store
The most expensive you’ll ever find
Money-wise there is no contest
Cupertino won’t be beat
Greater cash pile than the rest
Our profits are super sweet

Chinese workers seemed kinda stressed
So when the press turned up the heat
Suicide issues were addressed…
Well, We had to reassure Wall Street.
Now we’re not rotten to the core
We’re just falsely maligned
Our folks are all top-drawer
The very best of humankind.

Shareholders want more and more
The best tax deals we can find
So we look to bend the law
With tax dodges so refined
But in Ireland we are truly blessed!
Just look at our balance sheet
To the Irish we are a valued guest
No need for an office suite!
No staff or an office door
Tax operations so streamlined
Tax structures set up offshore
Profits no one can find!

But we pay our tax like all the rest
Though our Irish deal is neat!
On a thousand bucks, if pressed,
We pay 5 cents – to keep them sweet!
That’s all they dare ask us for
It’s the deal our lawyers signed!
Stockholders won’t let us pay more
That’s how multinationals are designed

We think tax is superfluous
Something to sidestep within the law
But it’s not something we can discuss
That’s what we pay lawyers for.

Tax is not for the likes of us
You guys might pay much more
But we can make more of a fuss –
And besides you ain’t Apple corp.
Excuse me butting in but this sounds like a fiscal sin
5 cents tax on a 1,000 bucks!?
That sounds rotten to the core. That ain’t cool – I don’t like Apple anymore!